Monday, March 30, 2009

My Little Town's Darwin Awards

Yep these bright young hoodlums are right here in my little town. I don't know why I am telling you this. No one will want to move to this area if they find out how stupid some of the natives are. Ah, maybe thats why I'm sharing. We have enough snow bird Yankees here already. These must be their offspring.

February 12, 2009 ~ A Charlotte County man is arrested for robbing a gas station after his car runs out of gas during the getaway. (You should always pre-trip your work vehicle at the start of every shift.)

February 24, 2009 ~ A 16 year old burglarizes a residence leaving his crushed cell-phone outside the window, then hitchhikes his getaway. Police track down the youth, then call his cell phone which rings at the scene of the crime. (The lad is disappointed about losing his phone because he just bought five new ringtones.)

March 29, 2009 ~ A man gets arrested after attempting to rob a grocery store and leaves a jug behind that he says is a bomb. He gets nothing (because the staff realizes he's just the silly son of a Yankee) and he is arrested 18 minutes later while making his getaway on a bicycle.

October 8, 2008 ~ A man was arrested for burglarizing a Port Charlotte store. After posting bond, he was spotted in the jail parking lot checking doors on the vehicles, looking for an unlocked car. He was pulled from a pickup after refusing to get out, claiming his wife was late picking him up and he was just looking for a cell phone to call her with. (He has one call left.)

July 18, 2008 ~ A local two year old girl was caught with a green leafy substance in her lunch box. Turns out her parents were divorced and the child has two lunch boxes, so it wasn't immediately clear where the pot came from. (I think a teacher found the marijuana after looking in the lunch box because the child had the munchies.)

March 16, 2009 ~ Ok, this one is over the county line but close enough to make the list. A 21 year old genius shoots himself in the leg and doesn't even have a gun. He was sitting in the driveway banging bullets with a hammer when one exploded, (unfortunately missing his head). The event was witnessed by the children of his room mate who was already under investigation for not supervising the children.


  1. These are all very funny. But, the guy banging bullets with a hammer wins the "Idiot of the Day" Award.

  2. Good work. I went to Florida once, never returned.