Monday, March 16, 2009

The 'Special' Date

Joe has been seeing a special girl now for about three weeks. I have met her and I don't want to be critical but I don't think her driveway goes all the way to the road. I mean she has gone out with Joe more than once. What does that say? But at least Joe realizes she has a problem. On Friday he asked me where he could get some window flavored condoms.

She is a proper “special” girl so the dates have all ended with nothing more than a kiss so far. Joe figured if he could get her to his apartment, the setting would be more appropriate for advancing the relationship. So he convinced her to come over so he could show off his cooking skills. But poor Joe has an unorthodox sense of humor, and some people just don't know how to take him.

While he was preparing their dinner, he said with a straight face, “God designed women to stay in the kitchen and cook you know.” Well this girl may be slow but she's not stupid. She has ambition and a better job than he does, as a matter of fact, and she let him know it. Joe wouldn't let it go though. He said “Yet men make much better cooks than women. I guess all you're really good for is cleaning up. Could you start with this pan?”

Then she comes unglued. “Talk to the hand” she yelled. Well Joe said the hand wouldn't listen and he started talking to his own hand to demonstrate. As the night progressed, the girl left, Joe kept talking to his hand, things went fairly well, and before Joe knew it, he and his hand were in bed having great sex.

I'm not usually a praying man but 'Thank you God, for letting me not be Joe.'


  1. Ok, I'll bite (no pun intended), what's the advantage to window flavored condoms? I went over and licked my window - there is no flavor.

  2. It must be an acquired taste, but I'm glad you're willing to try new things. ;)

  3. Joe sounds like a regular douchebag. I know the type. Next time you see him let him know I said, 'hi, douchebag.' =)

  4. Static ~ Joe would like to get your number since he's not doing so good with the ladies.

  5. I hope he doesn't blow it with the hands, he already lost the ladies...