Grandma

My grandma lived to be 98 years old. What a sense of humor she had.

She was telling me about how when she was a girl she could go the store with a quarter and come home with a dozen eggs, a pound of bacon, 2 quarts of milk, a whole chicken, and a pack of smokes.

I said well Grandma that's inflation for you. She said inflation my ass! It's all those fucking security cameras they have these days! Yeah, my grandma was a riot.

I don't smoke anymore but back when I did I was driving along one day and flicked my cigarette out the window. I drove another couple of miles and then started to smell something funny coming from the back seat. I turned around and sure enough ... grandma was fingering herself again. BTW that car is still for sale 6 years later. eww.