My good friend Joe told me this afternoon that he can't come to work tomorrow because he has a date that is going to last all day. I suspect his date is February 9th, 2010.
Seriously though he did have a date this past weekend but she refuses to go out with him again. She called him “The Master of Idiotic Comparisons.” He was so upset. He said he felt just like a celery stalk on Ritalin.
The poor guy tries though. He had a steady girl for about a month. Then one afternoon, on their one month anniversary he texts her a steamy little note saying how he wanted to make hot passionate love to her all night long. Unfortunately he sent it to his Grandma. So he had to ditch his girl and drive to Miami to spend the night with Granny. So that was all of that.
I have to admit that his Grandma is HOT. She got some nipple rings back around the first of the year that she loves to show off. I do to feel just a little bit sorry for the old lady from time to time. It seems like every time she tries to walk around the house naked she keeps getting her big toes caught in them.
I know you wonder why I have been absent for awhile. Well it was all for your benefit. The time away was well spent doing research for a book I have titled “How To Avoid Getting Ripped Off Online.” If you will send a cashiers check or money order for $29.95 I will be more than delighted to send you an autographed copy, certain to go somewhere in value. Act within the next 10 minutes and you'll get not 1 but 147 copies sent directly to your in-box with absolutely no postage or handling charges.
Thanks for the comments during my absence, and be well my friends. Later .....