I was so excited all day. I told all my friends at work and they couldn't believe how lucky I was. I hurried home, parked crooked and almost forgot to close the car door.
So I skip through the front door all excited (yes I skipped), (anal, uh huh! uh huh!) and there she is. Standing in the middle of the living room, holding some k-y, naked as a jay bird, smiling from ear to ear, and ... she's wearing this huge fucking strap on. "Are ya ready for it?" she giggles.
Then she said "Do ya know the difference between jelly and jam?
Maybe I can't jelly this up your ass, but I sure can jam it"
One of us is sleeping on the couch tonight. I don't care who but one of us definitely is!